Isn't it a wonderful dream, to pick up and move to Paris? Daily, our daughter asks for this. So I am always interested in stories of families moving to Paris, and how they adapt to life there. I've found an incredible resource for this, a website called Just Another American in Paris. JACKPOT! Published by Anne, it details years of living in Paris as an expat family - the challenges, joys, travels, food, fashion, and more. It's intriguing and also honest about France - culture, trends, places to see, things to eat, and more. I love the site - each time I visit, it strengthens my belief in the importance of family travel and life overseas. We were lucky enough to talk with Anne about her site, living in Paris, schooling, and more. Here's what she had to say...

WE: Please tell your site, Just Another American in Paris...

Anne: My site is http://justanotheramericaninparis.blogspot.com.  It’s really just a pastiche of the random thoughts that come into my head as I experience life as an American in Paris.  I write about my misadventures in communication, cross cultural differences, things I’ve done in Paris, travels we’ve taken, and share lots of photos of what I see just walking down the street.  I post six days a week and am never at a loss for something to share.

WE: What was the genesis of your site?

Anne: The first couple of months we were in France, I would occasionally send a blast e-mail to friends and family to update them on how we were doing.  I never set up a formal e-mail distribution list and I started losing track of whom I had sent e-mails and the whole thing kind of got out of hand.  So I decided to set up the blog as a way of keeping those folks up to date. 

Initially it was a private blog but everyone was having so much trouble with their usernames and passwords that I just decided to open it up to all comers. Later, it became part of The Paris Blog, introducing it to more Francophiles.  I had no idea that so many people would begin to read it.  I am getting 250-300 visitors daily, most of these people I have never met.

WE: You relocated your family to Paris, long-term - what were the challenges of doing thus?

Anne: We were very fortunate that we came here on a package offered by my husband’s employer which took care of many of the initial relocation challenges.  They found us a lovely and large apartment, complete with kitchen and light fixtures (which shockingly is not the normal state of affairs in Paris).  We were able to ship most of our household belongings and put quite a few things in storage.  The package includes private school tuition.  We also did not have to get the visas ourselves.

Initially our two kids hated the idea of moving.  They didn’t want to leave their friends and the life they had always known.  But we made it clear to them that this was non negotiable:  we were going, period, and it would be up to us as a family to figure it out together.  Fortunately, my kids are very good with transitions and they have thrived here.  Their school (see below) is incredibly welcoming because one third of the kids are new each year; it’s very different than a typical American public school where everyone has known each other since kindergarten.

I also think it helped all of us to know that this relocation wasn’t permanent. (The initial tour was for three years; it was later extended to four.) Right from the beginning, we knew we would be coming back to the house, friends, and city we call home.  I know I will go back to work when we return, making it easier for me to enjoy exploring Paris.  We haven’t made a lot of visits back but e-mail, Facebook, and  phone calls (our home phone is Internet-based phone allowing us unlimited calls to the U.S.) have kept us in touch with family and friends.

And finally the timing of the move was ripe for all of us:  the kids were a good age, my husband needed a new challenge, and I was frankly getting tired of the job I had been doing for the nine previous years.  It was simply a relief to tell my boss, “I’m sorry – my husband got a new job.  We have to move to Paris.” 

WE: What do you enjoy about living in Paris?

Anne: Well, I’m certainly never bored here.  In fact, I did a series for my blog on the 25 things I love about Paris.  But in short, there’s always something to see and do, whether it’s a museum, a temporary exhibition, a neighborhood to explore, a restaurant or bakery to try out.  The public transportation system is excellent and I’ve become a pro at hopping on and off buses and trains.  My kids get a ridiculous number of vacations so we’ve had the opportunity to travel extensively in France and throughout Europe.

WE: How are your kids learning, in France - are they attending school, or are you homeschooling? Was language a problem in the beginning?

Anne: Schooling decisions are incredibly personal and kid dependent, and I have blogged about this here:  http://justanotheramericaninparis.blogspot.com/2010/06/on-question-of-schooling-for-expats.html

For a host of reasons, including my kids’ ages, learning styles, and the fact that we will be moving back to the U.S., we decided to go with an international school and I have not regretted the decision.  The curriculum is in English although they are required to take French.   Their language skills are not what they would be had we put them in a local school or even a bilingual program.  But their listening comprehension is quite good, as are their accents and reading skills.  Although they lack a certain confidence in speaking, both have gone to overnight camp with French kids and done just fine.

WE: What are some of the hidden facets of Paris that you didn't expect to find?

Anne: A French diplomat once remarked to my husband that he found living in Washington, DC more difficult than living in Tokyo. How so? Well he knew that Tokyo would be completely different from France. He was not so well prepared for the many differences between the U.S. and France.

I think about this often.  On the surface, life in Western Europe and the U.S. have many similarities and with globalization of commerce, the media, and entertainment, this has become even more the case in recent years.  It’s the less obvious differences in how you interact with people and go about your daily business that make this a real adventure.  For example, there’s not much value placed on customer service in France.  For Americans used to the mantra that the customer is #1, it can be aggravating to go into a shop where all the employees are very busy but have no interest in waiting on you.  

For anyone interested in better understanding the cultural differences, I highly recommend Polly Platt’s book French or Foe? Another good resource, while slightly less practical, is Sixty Million Frenchmen Can’t Be Wrong.

And then there’s just the process of learning how to take care of all the practical aspects of daily living.  It can be exhausting.  After about a year here, I realized that newly arriving American expats all seemed to have the same questions and so I decided to create another blog just to help them with matters as simple as where to find the eggs in the supermarket (hint: they are not refrigerated) and how to work a Parisian parking meter.  The site is Posted in Paris (http://postedinparis.wordpress.com) and I’ve been very lucky to find some other expat writers to help me build its content.

from 25 things I love about Paris

WE: Long-term expat living is so unlike travel. What suggestions do you have for expats living overseas?

Anne: Adjusting to life in a different culture takes time, a lot more than I had realized at the outset.  We were here for three months before I felt grounded enough to go on a trip out of town, and I can say that it took almost a year to really feel like I had my feet on the ground. 

Learn the language.  You don’t have to master it (I know I haven’t) but you have to make the effort.  In a big city like Paris, you can get by if you are an English speaker, but it will always be a suboptimal experience.  I highly recommend formal instruction as well as conversation groups, watching TV (particularly with the closed captions for the hearing-impaired turned on), listening to the radio, and reading newspapers and magazines.  You’d be amazed at how much you can learn reading the French equivalent of People.

Recognize that you bring your emotional baggage with you.  Your problems don’t magically go away when you move to a new place. 

While you will be constantly struck by differences between your new life and the one you left behind, resist the temptation to be constantly stacking up one against the other.  If you spend all your time trying to recreate your old life, you will fail and be miserable in the process.  Truth:  the bagels in France are terrible.  Fact:  the baguettes are amazing.   My solution:  I’m eating baguettes now and I’ll have bagels another time.

Being a trailing spouse (or for that matter any one who doesn’t have an office or classroom to go to) can be an isolating experience.  That’s when it’s nice to have fellow expats around you.  You feel less alone, and you learn from each other how to cope.

Finally, read this post that I wrote for Posted in Paris:  http://postedinparis.wordpress.com/2010/09/02/the-five-stages-of-the-expat-experience/

WE: How can expats truly integrate into their local communities?

Anne: Integration is an incredibly elusive goal, one that can be helped by having a local spouse/partner, working in a situation or living in a community where there are few other expats, and putting your children in local schools.  Not all of these are things that are under your control. 

The situation may differ in other places but there are some particular barriers to integration in Paris.  First, the French are quite private people, and they are not looking to make friends.  Trust me, your new neighbors will not greet you with a smile and a cake. (But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t always greet them with a proper “Bonjour madame” or “Bonjour monsieur.”)  Add to that, Paris is a big busy city and poses the same problems for newcomers that you might find in a place like New York.  Knowing the language helps but does not entirely bridge the gap.

To be honest, we are not integrated into our community, and had we set that up as a goal for our experience, you’d have to judge it to be a failure.  But have we been enriched by it?  Absolutely.  Given the chance to do it all over again, I’m not sure that I’d change a thing. 

WE: Thanks so much, Anne! It's so interesting, to learn the background of an expat, and how you are all living and adjusting to life in Paris. 

For more information, please see:
http://justanotheramericaninparis.blogspot.com/