“Life is amazing. And then it's awful. And then it's amazing again. And in between the amazing and awful it's ordinary and mundane and routine. Breathe in the amazing, hold on through the awful, and relax and exhale during the ordinary. That's just living heartbreaking, soul-healing, amazing, awful, ordinary life. And it's breathtakingly beautiful.” ~ L.R. Knost

In the northern hemisphere, we’re in the height of summer. Beach days, lake outings, ice cream dates...that’s what in the air. For some, it’s the calm before the storm of back to school; for others, it’s the time to throw caution to the wind and go on your greatest adventures—and for others, it’s to be in the moment of the here and now and enjoy the journey. Whether you’re in the excitement phase or the lull one, it’s all valid. 

How are you doing? 

We live in a world of 24/7 everything. Be it stock market dings, news galore, or social media, it feels we’re on every second of every day. We have to be the ones to intentionally curate that down time, to intentionally step away, or to intentionally turn off the phone. The world will continue to tell us to get up and go, so any time there’s a second to breathe in, the in-between feels like some weird twilight zone where things stop and we’re confused. Sometimes it’s refreshing and at other times uncomfortable. 

How do you feel about those in-between times? 

Every season has its beginning, middle, and end. As they change, we change. As they shift, we shift. 

Sometimes it’s that middle part, when it all feels stalled and thoroughly unpleasant that truly unseen things are moving; that’s the work. That’s where the learning happens. 

Oddly enough, rest is growth. Oddly enough, boredom is good. And, oddly enough, the in-between times are necessary for all those other ones. It’s how we handle it that shows far more about who we are, what we wish, and where we’re going. 

Consider all of those Olympic athletes making their way in Paris. Two weeks on the world’s stage, all eyes on them; this is that after time of the in-between. Yet, it was there before and will be again. They flip through floor routines, speed through pools, and we witness impeccable feats of talent, skill, and grace across tracks, courts, and fields. We watch, in awe of one of those high points of their lives. But, just like the rest of us, before and potentially after the Paris Olympics close, they too have those middle bits of in-between. Usually, this is the part the rest of us don’t see at all, yet with more transparency like that of the all around podium earning gymnasts' journeys and redemption tours, perhaps we’ll see more than only the highlight reels.

What do you do in the middle? Are you itching for those high points to come ‘round again soon? Are you setting goals and taking time for yourself? Are you putting plans in motion as you transform from caterpillar to butterfly? Are you taking stock, considering options, and dreaming of next? 

Or, are you able to just be and take each day as it comes? 

Society will always poke at us to do more, buy more, get more, be more. Society doesn’t give out awards for those in between time periods. Society nudges towards shiny objects, FOMO, and a run yourself ragged kind of lifestyle. 

What if we said no? 

What if we risked it for something different? What if we said, hold up, wait a minute, change doesn’t happen in the blink of an eye...it takes time, it takes work, it’s often messy, and we need those in between times to get us from that beginning stage towards an advanced one. If we showed up, whispered, or shouted about the value of each and every precious stage, they’d have to listen. And you know what, even if ‘they’ don’t, we will. 

Mary Oliver reminds us, “what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?” 

Will you follow the noise, the FOMO stoked by social media, and the coaxing of the crowd? Or will you plant your feet firmly on the ground, stake your claim, and do you? Simone Biles did. Suni Lee did. Rebeca Andrade did.

Will you?

The resilience of these gymnasts is like that of nature. In any visit to the ocean, we notice the tides. They ebb and flow, have highs and lows, sometimes bring giant swells or glassy calm, yet regardless of their force, they continue to show up each and every day and kiss the shore. 

You don’t need to win Olympic medals to do it, but you can channel your Olympic spirit, garner that grit, and keep showing up.

Whether you’re in the throes of chaotic growth energy, in that messy middle that calls for patience and reflection, or the beginning stages of your magical journey, stay present, stay brave, stay curious, and know that while no one talks about that cocoon stage, without it, the world would never know butterflies. 

Tips and tricks to handle the in-between times of life

“We thought we were living in between-time, after this and before that, but it’s the between-time that lasted.” ~Julie Pierpoint

Give yourself permission for grace & rest

“It takes courage to say yes to rest and play, in a culture where exhaustion is seen as a status symbol.” ~ Brene Brown

When a friend or family member asks for help, we show up. We listen, sit with them, offer advice if asked, and hold their hands through it all. We offer kindness, compassion, and remind them to give themselves grace while they find their way to the other side, or back to their best selves. 

Yet, we often have trouble extending that same wisdom to ourselves. Dr. Kristin Neff, a pioneering self-compassion researcher reminds us of the power we have to reframe that story and turn that compassion on ourselves. To be “kind and understanding rather than harshly self-critical when we fail, make mistakes, or feel inadequate.  We give ourselves support and encouragement rather than being cold or judgmental when challenges and difficulties arise in our lives.

Research indicates that self-compassion is one of the most powerful sources of coping and resilience we have available, radically improving our mental and physical wellbeing. It motivates us to make changes and reach our goals not because we’re inadequate, but because we care and want to be happy.” 

We can do it. We can remember we’re human and offer ourselves that same time, energy, and decency we share with our friends. And when we need that reminder right now, we only have to look to those Olympians. 

Few and far between get that glittery hardware, but each and every one of them have navigated obstacles, struggles, and those in-between moments and have made it to the world’s stage and every single minute of their story counts.

Ignore the constant pokes of society

“Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished.” ~Lao Tzu

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve turned the ‘wrong’ way on a hiking trail. After veering one way to check out a waterfall, then having to detour a whole lot longer to make it back to the trail. But along the way, I discovered things I hadn’t seen along the original route. A flower blooming in tough terrain, one cactus who manages to make it amidst a totally arid climate, or even finding a struggling hiker who needs a little extra encouragement to continue their journey. So, maybe, I wasn’t really ‘lost’ in the first place; perhaps the divergence was meant to teach me something. 

Nature doesn’t hurry. She takes her time, deals with what’s thrown her way, and often provides epic magic for us humans to witness. You can’t move her along because you want to. All you can do is navigate the paths, show up with kindness and hope, try to leave the place better than you found it, and learn from the lessons she shares. Some of that wisdom also comes from humans who try to put good in the world. 

Recently, the Wrexham A.F.C. owner and mega-movie star Ryan Reynolds shared a piece of advice he received from his Deadpool & Wolverine director, Shawn Levy. He “told me something that stuck with me forever, that people tend to only talk about their wins. But I think it's really important for your kids in particular to know that you lose,"... Reynolds went on to say, "You don't get what you want all the time. Something you worked on really hard didn't work. You feel like you said something embarrassing today, you did something that didn't sit right with you. It's just so important that [your kids] see that and they don't just hear, 'Oh Dad nailed it.' Because you lose so much more than you win.” 

The famous humans taking over our social media are only human. They, too, experience those in-between moments. Whether we see them or not, it’s how we navigate it all that counts. 

Embrace the downtime

“Learn to appreciate small, quiet moments, the ocean, a walk on the beach, time alone, your health, your strength, your smile, your life.” ~Germany Kent

2020 shut down the world and forced many of us into a collective downtime. People baked, created, took stock, and did what they could to hold onto themselves through a global halt. Some didn’t know how to handle downtime, while others thrived. While that time was imposed for the greater good, do you take your own? Longevity researcher Dan Buettner often shares the secrets of the Blue Zones, those significant areas of the globe where the most centenarians reside. While of course the heralded lifestyle includes healthy foods and habits, a core focus is often on the downtime. Gardening, creating, laughing, socializing, being—those methods infuse positive emotions, memories, and magic in our spirit that help us to negotiate the difficult life moments. 

Harvard professor, happiness researcher, and acclaimed author Arthur C. Brooks talks about the similar messages. He quite literally teaches classes about business, leadership, and happiness...and whether you’re reading his columns or following his feed, he focuses his teachings on being happier in life. In an interview discussing the book he co-wrote with Oprah, Build The Life You Want, he said, “happiness is not a destination. It's a direction… You need negative experiences to teach you the things that you need to become a better person, a more prosperous person, a person that makes progress in life…What you can be with proper information, by changing your life and sharing it with others, you can be, you can be happier. That's the goal. Am I happy? No. Am I happier? Yeah.”

Just maybe, the downtime, the messy middle, the in-between—all of it is a stop on our directional journey towards the goal of happier.

Harness your inner Winnie the Pooh 

“Doing nothing often leads to the very best of something.” ~Winnie the Pooh

Winnie the Pooh and his Hundred Acre Woods mates have been a part of childhood adventures for decades. His story is the epitome of embracing the day, living the simple life, staying present, and being surrounded by those who get him and have his back. 

While his gang is perhaps an original version of today’s Inside Out movies, Pooh negotiates life’s setbacks with an adventure mindset, channels courage when he needs it, and relishes in honey, good friends, and simple pleasures. His table is filled with dreamers, doers, and those who see the world from a different standpoint; he accepts them all as they are. Even on those days when it’s dreary and rainy, he’s nervous about heffalumps, or fresh out of honey, he puts in the work, has hope for a better day, and knows that while sometimes life pokes at us, he will continue to do his best to be unbothered most of the time. 

We may not all be surrounded by the human versions of Eeyore, Rabbit, Piglet, Owl, Tigger, and friends. I hear you. Sometimes finding our core humans takes time. Sometimes we rely on the kindness of strangers.

Sometimes the help comes from the most surprising of places. As recently as the other day, one Olympian, who was to compete within the next 24 hours, shared that she couldn’t pay her rent. Two superstars stepped up to take care of it. The women’s water polo team now has a forever friend in another superstar. And while the world may want competitors to act with combative contention, instead rivals show up with hugs, handshakes, and high praise for each other. 

Harness your inner Pooh: ask for help when you need it, sit through the uncomfortable, give yourself grace, accept praise and encouragement from challengers, strangers, or friends, and know that your grit, resilience, heart, and hope will see you through till better days.  

Please click the photo below for a collection of my Through the Eyes of an Educator columns:

Stacey Ebert, our Educational Travels Editor, is a traveler at heart who met her Australian-born husband while on a trip in New Zealand. Stacey was an extracurricular advisor and taught history in a Long Island public high school for over fifteen years, enjoying both the formal and informal educational practices. After a one year 'round the world honeymoon, travel and its many gifts changed her perspective. She has since left the educational world to focus on writing and travel. She is energetic and enthusiastic about long term travel, finding what makes you happy and making the leap. In her spare time she is an event planner, yogi, dark chocolate lover, and spends as much time as possible with her toes in the sand.

Check out her website at thegiftoftravel.wordpress.com for more of her travel musings.